Week 17- Missionary for is SO BIPOLAR

Myyyy goodness I am confused. Missionary work is the best thing ever but also so so hard. It really just depends on the day.

This week I really experienced some of the best moments but also some of the worst. I know my life sometimes looks like unicorns and rainbows but I want you to all know that I am human and although I love this work more than anything it is also very discouraging, tiring, and stressful. I felt that a lot this week. 

Something positive first though! ZONE CONFERENCE on Thursday was iiiincredible! President Tunnicliffe dressed up as a giant dog and tackled everyone. Ya. Email me if you have questions hahaha it was hilarious. I felt so much joy seeing everyone too! Love you so much Sister Olson. We learned all about exact obedience and it was really amazing. Something so special that we talked about was exact obedience is when we truly find ourselves and find who Jesus Christ wants and needs us to be. Obedience is far from a burden and rather is a huge blessing and gift. We are all so special and have so many divine gifts God has given us and sometimes it's hard to find them. But they really are there! God will show them to you if you ask.

This week Sister Chiong and I placed this exact obedience into play and Friday we had the BEST day ever! We saw so much joy in keeping everything focused on our purpose, talking to everyone, and even working with our friend towards baptism. Then Saturday came and everything crashed. Everyone rejected us, none of our friends were cooperating, traveling here is so difficult, it was freezing cold, raining, etc. I felt so much guilt and anger within myself for not doing my best. It felt like I let Jesus Christ and God down. I felt hopeless and so lost. Why was I sent to Chester? We sat down at the busy Chester train station, said a prayer, and opened the Book of Mormon. We read Alma 17 and verse 11 stood out to me. It says, "And the Lord said unto them also: Go forth among the Lamanites, thy brethren, and establish my word; yet ye shall be patient in long-suffering and afflictions, that ye may show forth good examples unto them in me, and I will make an instrument of thee in my hands unto the salvation of many souls." 

This changed my perspective completely. So what someone rejected us and laughed at us. So what I didn't talk to everyone I could have. I traveled across oceans and seas to be here for the Lord. I did this so that I could experience hard times so that I can let God save me. He has so much power and ability to save because he loves us more than we even know. I may never understand why things go wrong and why I have such hard days but I do know that I was sent here to serve the Lord and that is what I will do. God's timing is real and he will reveal marvelous works upon us when we weren't expecting. Everything will all make sense. 

Sorry this is kinda sad and long haha! But the Atonement of Jesus Christ truly is real and he is ready to save. If any of you may be struggling, I invite you to come unto him. He is EAGER and waiting for you! He loves you so so much and understands that exact feeling you may be having whether it be you feel like you don't belong, you aren't good enough, etc. HE KNOWS! You are worth so much more than you think.

I love you all so much and I love my Savior so much. Press forward saints!! All is well! Email me if you ever get the chance, I would love to hear from you! 

Don't worry I had some really happy moments this week too. Sorry for being lowkey cringe hahahah

Sister Smith